Friday Five – Worst of E3 2014

Welcome to the Friday Five! Each week we help you get to know our writers with the help of a top 5 list! This week: Worst of E3 2014

Welp, last week we talked about all the stuff we liked at this years E3. So it’s only right for us to listed the worst things for us out of this years conference. And believe me, there was plenty bad, but I’ll let the lists do the talking. So let’s get started with our lists for Worst of E3 2014.


  1. Nintendo Not Having Press Conference – I’m not a big fan of the Nintendo Direct Events for E3, I get it probably saves the money, and allows them to control the show even more. But come on Reggie isn’t nearly as exciting when he’s obviously been saying the same lines and acting (poorly) for hours. Give the guy a stage and a room full of game nerds and he’s a fucking rock star though.
  2. EA Not Having Games – EA had the normal sports games, but then a bunch of Tech Demo’s. While I liked seeing things for Mirrors Edge, Mass Effect, and such showing us what are barely playable demos of games that have been in development for a while is just insulting.
  3. Microsoft Opening with Call of Duty (again) – Microsoft was the least impressive of the ‘Big 3’, and a lot of that has to do with not seeing anything exclusive and exciting. Frankly it was a big sign of what’s to come that once again the big opener for Microsoft was Call of Duty. A game we all know is coming every year, at this point there’s no reason for an E3 appearance of the game, it’s happening and we all know it.
  4. No Final Fantasy XV – I suppose this is a slightly more picky topic than most, but it’s been 8 years since Versus XIII was announced (at E3 06), and now it’s a year after they renamed it Finaly Fantasy XV and we’re seeing nothing new. I’ve heard rumors it’ll be released next May (2015) but those are just rumors.
  5. Terrible Presenters – I talked about this on the post E3 PodQuest, but the people on stage talking up these games just weren’t good. Aisha Tyler for Ubisoft is really the highlight, and that’s not really a good thing. It’s crazy how much you can miss people like Jack Treton and Reggie Fils-Aime when they’re not live on a stage for you. Everyone else just didn’t seem all that interested in being there.



  1. Sony showing 18 seconds of Batman gliding in a circle
  2. Missing the Destiny Alpha
  3. Call of Duty, I’m just tired of this franchise
  4. Working through most of E3
  5. Bad announcers with no enthusiasm



It’s no secret that I found this year’s E3 utterly disappointing. In fact, it was probably my least favorite in recent years. Here’s why:

  1. Where were the AAAs? – By AAA I mean a game that deems a console “must have”. As of now neither the PS4 or Xbone are must haves. Both of them are ok, at best, for early adopters. Wii U is looking a little better, with more exclusives, but still none really necessary to own. This years E3 we were treated to… um… nothing. At least, nothing coming in the near future.
  2. 2015 – Fuck 2015. I literally need to buy every fucking game in 2015. But what do I get to buy in 2014? GTA on Next Gen? Dragon Age? ANOTHER FUCKING CALL OF DUTY?! Seriously, every awesome “announcement” (see previous) was for some game not coming till 2015 AT THE EARLIEST! What’s worse is that most of these games were announced in some form, last year. Some of which… and this pisses me off a lot… have shown little to no progress whatsoever
  3. EA’s behind the scenes bullshit – 3 of the most exciting games announced LAST YEAR were Mirrors Edge, Star Wars Battlefront Reboot, and a new Mass Effect reboot. In an entire year all EA, Dice, and BioWare have to show for these titles are a couple 2 minute behind the scenes videos. Hey, you redesigned Faith for Mirrors Edge? Cool! HOW COME SHE LOOKS THE SAME! God damn, this was some bullshit. At least it wasn’t a random 15 second clip of a game with no context and absolutely no guarantee that it’s not CG.
  4. Teasers – I love trailers, but only when they show me some representation of what the final game will actually look like. I HATE teasers that give me nothing. No hint at story. No hint at gameplay. And no way to tell that what I’m looking at is actually in game or CG. Sure, I want to play another Uncharted as much as the next person. However, it was a game that was announced last year (see above), not coming to 2015 at the earliest (see above) and overall the trailer tells me nothing! 15 seconds of a man walking into a jungle is a weak closing to any conference. At least it’s something new…
  5. More of the same – Ok, this is a rough one. But, look at Destiny. I’m friggin stoked to play Destiny. What I’m really excited about tho, is not seeing it at any more gaming events. 3 years of various game play trailers, on stage demos, and cg stories etc. I’m done. Let’s get the game out and move on already! Also, did we really need 2 Smash Bros character announcements during Nintendo’s digital event? I know you guys can only work so fast, but a new character doesn’t really feel like wow material to me. It feels like filler. So does a new Call of Duty (3 years opening is enough Microsoft), 15 second teaser trailers, Halo 5 making it’s second announcement with nothing to show besides a cg trailer, and more fucking HD remakes. GIVE US SOMETHING FUCKING NEW!

Honourable Mention – CG trailers – These things should be dead by now. If you can’t show it off in engine, then nobody needs to see it. Stop over hyping your shit with flashy movies and show me what you’re really about.


  1. Microsoft’s lack of announcing backward compatibility like everyone was hypothesizing.
  2. Aisha Tyler’s need to wear stiletto’s next to the short Ubisoft developers.
  3. Nintendo not showing up live but rather having a recorded spot.
  4. The America vs. French – Push up match which the American did well enough in to win the game level but was called out for doing faux push up’s. The French are just jealous because we passed the reins of most obese country to them.
  5. Not having been able to attend.


talks a bunch on PodQuest each week. He's also been known to write about stuff from time to time.

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