Friday Five – Apocalypse Survival Team Members

Welcome to the Friday Five. Each week we help you get acquainted with our writers with the help of a top five list. This week we list our five Apocalypse Survival Team Members.

With the possible apocalypse tomorrow, we’re doing this list early.


Aside from the people I would already be with in such trying times, I would desperately seek out the following team of men below, regardless of their old age. All these guys know how to survive when the world is gonna end and/or when everyone else is dead and/or impossible to reach.

  1. Bruce Willis
  2. Will Smith
  3. John Cusack
  4. Tom Hanks
  5. Morgan Freeman



I’m going to be pretty lame on this one, sorry guys.

  1. My husband (Vogel)
  2. My son, Aiden
  3. My daughter, Andraia
  4. My dad
  5. Deadpool (as long as he stays on my side we’re good)



Obviously we all want our families with us. So in addition to my lovely wife Audra, I would add the following people to my party of awesome.

  1. Desmond Miles – *ACIII Spoilers* If the world comes to an end, then Desmond has failed to prevent the end from coming. Which means he’s alive! Who better to follow then the prophet of Those Who Came Before?
  2. ClapTrap – He’ll act as our comic humor, entertainment (wub wub wub wub wub wub DROP wub wub wub), and be the general screw up of the group. An excellent addition to the team.
  3. Nathan Drake – If there’s one man that can get through insurmountable odds, it’s Nathan Drake. He’s been shipwrecked, lost out at the desert, and managed to find a boat load of treasure (literally)!
  4. Lara Croft – Why bring one tomb raider, when you can have both? Lara seems to be better with her money then Nathan, so she’d probably be better at rationing supplies then he would. She also has an unlimited supply of 9mm ammo. That could be useful.
  5. The X-men – They’ve stopped Apocalypse before. . .



It goes without saying, family is already included in your group. To keep us alive and thriving though we’d need a good mix of skills.

  1. Tony Stark – He built a robotic suit of armor in a cave with scraps!
  2. Batman – He’s the goddamn Batman, he’s probably got hideouts all over the world that he uses when he’s got to help out the Justice League.
  3. Ultimate Jean Grey – She can read people’s thoughts, so we’ll know if someone is gonna be raiding our group. Plus Ultimate Universe Jean doesn’t die all the time and cause the world to nearly end.
  4. The Doctor – He’s a Time Lord, I’m sure he could figure something out!
  5. Jack Bauer – This guy has no conscience when it comes to protecting friends and family…that could be handy if he’s on your side



  1. Rick Grimes- Trained in armed combat and has a distinct leadership quality. Also he’s a bit crazy and that always helps.
  2. Wolverine – He can’t die unless you obliterate every last cell in his body. Also if the apocalypse turns out to be a zombie viral outbreak we could purposely infect him so that his healing ability creates the antibodies to cure the virus.
  3. Big Daddy (Kick-Ass)- The dude was awesome. He also has an armory in his safe house so that would be helpful.
  4. A mayan – Just so we can get the true story behind their calendar.
  5. And this one is cheating but I don’t care – My Wife and kids.



  1. Bill Murray – (Comedy) – He seemed to do well for himself in Zombieland. . . that is, until he tried to play a joke on fake Michael Cera. We’ll just have to make some new rules.
  2. Chuck Norris’ Beard – (Strength) Don’t really see the need to have a whole other person taking up valuable resources. The strength of his beard alone should be plenty.
  3. The Psych Boys – (fun) – If there isn’t going to be TV then they will have to come with me to keep me entertained.
  4. Iron Man – (protection) – He can fight, fly, and he’s a pretty smart dude.
  5. Taco Bell – (noms) – Life wouldn’t be worth living without Taco Bell!

Bill Murray in zombie makeup from Zombieland


So the Mayans have doomed us all. According to their calendar the last day the world as we know it will exist is tomorrow, December 21st 2012. (Granted they had no concept of leap years so technically the calendar ended somewhere around 4 years ago. Also there’s a Mayan calendar that goes for 63 million years so, there’s that.) All that said, some of us may survive this apocalypse, so here’s my list of the people I hope survive with me if I do (outside of the friends/family).

  1. Robert Irvine – It always helps to have a good cook around, and it also helps if that person is also ex-military. Enter Robert Irvine, host of Restaurant Impossible and Dinner Impossible, celebrity chef, and he served in the British Royal Navy. He would be a very valuable asset after the apocalypse.
  2. Bear Grylls – The former host of Man vs. Wild seemingly knows how to keep someone alive in any situation and that’s a skill that would be absolutely crucial to have in a post-apocalyptic scenario. And like Robert Irvine, he’s ex-military, so he could help teach me and our group how to use weapons to defend ourselves.
  3. Louie C.K. – Being able to laugh is never a bad thing, so it couldn’t hurt to have a super-funny comedian with you in this type of scenario. I can’t walk past a Cinnabon store without thinking about his bit about them.
  4. Christina Hendricks/Kat Dennings – As mentioned in a previous Friday Five, I love Christina Hendricks. Also, Kat Dennings is almost on par in hotness to me. And if we’re gonna have to repopulate the Earth, ya know. . . anyway. . .
  5. Chuck Norris – He’s Chuck effing Norris, you know he’s gonna survive the apocalypse and I would want him to be on my side fighting off the hoards of zombies, or other people, or dinosaur zombies, or whatever the hell is going to happen!

Robert Irvine in a restaurant

And that’s it! If the world doesn’t end we’ll be back next week, and if it does end watch your backs!

is not a boss.

You can Email Eric or follow Eric on Twitter @EricSweeten or Facebook

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